This video is going viral on Tube right now and everyone is excited about it: Case #8394658 – February 14th, 2:35 PM. Suspect is a blonde woman over the age of thirty. She identifies herself as Casca Akashova and is filed under our Must Implement Liberal Frisking, or MILF, category. She has been observed pocketing an item during the stores Valentines Day Sale, but argues that video evidence of the crime does not exist. However, a frisk and search reveals that the suspect has stolen a necklace. The rest of this case is classified. Evidence logged on February 14, 2020.
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